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Love Yourself Enough

Ah, love is in the air today more than other days.  Yet today's post - Valentine's Day or not - applies whether you're single, part of a couple or anywhere in between, because it's not just about loving yourself on Valentine's Day: it's about how to love yourself as you live your everyday life.  

I'm writing this post in the wake of some deeply upsetting and personal events happening within my family of origin at the moment.  The circumstances have reminded me of a tweet sent out back in September by a respected business acquaintance, Lissa Rankin, MD, that stuck with me for some reason: "If you ever feel like you're waking up spiritually, go home to your family of origin. #humbling~ @Lissarankin

Ain't it the truth?

I'm still working at integrating the lessons I've been learning, and probably will be for some time yet, but my experiences over the last few weeks have really given me cause to re-examine what it means to love someone else...and to love myself.  

Just in time for Valentine's Day.  Timely, huh?

Here are some of the lessons that have bubbled up for me, and as I continue with the exercise of applying them in my own life, I share them in the hopes that they might help you as you apply them to yours:

Love Yourself Enough

...to be deeply honest with yourself about what you need, even when it means admitting you want something different than you've been saying you want, or when it means admitting you're not (yet) where you want to be in life.  Really witnessing and articulating your deepest, truest longings is the first step in getting where you want to go.

...to ask for help when you need it.  It's courageous and humbling, and doing so is a way to open the door and allow love into your life.

...to be able to openly, graciously and gratefully receive the help you are offered.  By doing so, you allow the love to flow freely rather than blocking or deflecting it.

...to express your emotions in a healthy way.  Stifling and choking down your true feelings is a recipe for anxiety, depression and inappropriate expression.  Let them out, and at risk of stating the obvious, do it without harming yourself or others: cry, wail, walk, run or privately pound a couch cushion.  Eliminating toxins from your body is as important emotionally as it is physically.

...to protect your boundaries, respect your limits and know when to walk away.  Endless sacrificing at your own expense on a one-way street without reciprocation does nothing but deplete your reserves and leave you empty.

...to honour your values and ethics.  Living in integrity with what you believe to be good and true is the only way to live in peace and harmony with yourself.

...to admit when you've made a mistake...and to forgive yourself for making it.

...to stay true to your dreams, even when someone else belittles them.  Especially when that someone is a person who has lost sight of their own dreams.

...to love people even when they seem unlovable.  It's the same grace you need to give yourself on those days when you feel unlovable, and that you'd want others to give to you.

...to give yourself the gift of self-care and joy.  Being kind to yourself and seeking out ways to put a genuine smile on your face are sure ways to build up your reserves, so that you've actually got something good to give others.

...to do the right thing: the thing that feels right in your heart and your gut AND your head, when you look at the long-term picture.  It's the culmination of all your short-term decisions that lead to long-term results.  Always move in the direction of the things you aspire to and hope for.

...to say 'yes', when doing so aligns with your values, ethics, needs and desires, and is driven by love...even when saying 'yes' is hard.  

...to say 'no', when doing so aligns with your values, ethics, needs and desires, and is driven by love...even when saying 'no' is hard.  

I wish YOU enough love, on this day and all days.  

What are some of the ways that you love yourself in life?

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©2023 by Kelly Wagner

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