Don't let them keep you stuck

When you *know* you're meant to be doing something different, but everyone keeps pointing you in the same tired old directions, it's easy to feel stuck.

Here's what you need to know...and what to do instead.

(watch the video, or read the written version below instead):

If you’re someone who’s in a job that you really want to break free from, one of the biggest hurdles you’ll have en route to your new life—second only to your own mindset and identity—is your friends and family‘s mindset and identity. By which I mean the person THEY think you are, and what THEY know you to be capable of.

Now, 99% of the time, the folks near and dear to you don’t MEAN to be arguing for your limitations, or trying to keep you where you’re feeling stuck.

The people who care about you are almost ALWAYS trying to help you, especially when you’re in a place of feeling completely ungrounded and unsettled about “what to do with your life” (ask me how I know).

They care about you and want you to be safe and successful, but even the most successful people among us are still run primarily by their subconscious minds. And both their brains and yours are designed—first and foremost—to keep us safe and alive...nevermind to THRIVE. The survival part of your brain is powerful, and it doesn’t give two HOOTS about thriving, it’s survival all the way.

We go deeper into this—and what to do about it—in the Dream Life Guidebook program, but suffice it to say that our brains create connections and notice patterns in order to help us “stay safe”, constantly trying to predict the future based on experiences we've had in the past.

To these survival parts of our brain, “safe” equates to “the same as what we already know”…so your friends & family see your “safety” as sticking to what they know of you.

But if you’re like me, and out of necessity you had to just buckle down and “stay safe” doing something (anything!) to pay the bills (maybe even for a LONG time), and you happen to have gotten really good at what you’ve had to do—I call this your “Adapted Self”—people will learn to associate you with those skills, and identify with you being in those kinds of roles.

So yes, you may indeed have gotten very GOOD at those things, but if you’re unhappy, unfulfilled, or you feel stuck and pigeonholed into those roles, and somewhere inside you just KNOW there’s something different for you…you HAVE to listen to that.

You have to recognize that people are giving you suggestions and ideas that are aligned with everything they know you’re good at, and those ideas are meant from a kind, loving, helpful place.

But NOBODY knows the whole of you like you do.

And even when you’re not necessarily confident yet in the 'new you' that you're feeling called to move into—or you’re not even sure yet exactly what that 'new you' might be—that’s your true self (what I call your Authentic Self, as opposed to your Adapted Self) calling to you.

Listen to that call. Follow where it leads you. It may not take you directly to THE thing, but it will take you to the NEXT thing...which is the exact next step you need to take on your path toward getting there.

And really—in the kind of life I want to live anyway—there really IS no getting "there". Because a life well-lived is always continually evolving in a gentle upward spiral…

But that’s another story.

For today, just remember this: when well-meaning people direct you toward options that make you feel stuck, just know that:

A) they probably mean well,

B) they don’t mean to imply that you’re only capable of doing something similar to what you’ve always done, and

C) trust that feeling in your gut that tells you, "NO, that’s NOT for me anymore. Yes maybe once upon a time that’s where I excelled, and I know I COULD do a good job doing that, but it’s time for me to move on. Time to grow."

YOU have to be your own truest advocate, and that's often scary and isolating. So you’ve also got to find a way to spend more time around people who believe in your possibilities, and keep your own internal narrative supportive about where you’re headed...even if you have only the most vague idea (so far) about where that “next stage" might be.

If you're ready to breathe new life into your dreams, check out my Dream Life Guidebook program, where I help you get crystal clear on the life you truly want and design the roadmap to get you there.

And in the meantime, remember to BELIEVE IN YOU. Listen to that deep inner knowing, even if that depth of knowing isn’t quite clear yet. The clarity will come as you keep listening to the whispers of your heart, and as you surround yourself with people who see you as your true self does: as a person whose possibilities are literally infinite.

When you combine that depth of knowing with the tools and community and support to help you get there, you WILL get there.

Remember that, and never ever forget it. ❤️

xo

Kelly