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Gently Become

We are always 'becoming'.  Every moment, every interaction, every thought we have influences our experience of the world we live in, and our perception of it.  In turn, our experiences and the perceptions we develop about those experiences serve to influence our subsequent moments, interactions and thoughts.  

What we think, feel and do continually influences who we become.  The choices we make today influence what our experience of tomorrow will be like, what our experience of 'five years from now' will be like, and so on and so on.  Every action we take as a result of what we think and feel influences the kind of person we will one day turn out to be.

For example, succeeding at something gives us greater confidence and self-esteem with which to approach the next experience...sometimes to take bigger chances and to step into bigger possibilities for ourselves.  On the other hand, NOT achieving the outcome we wanted can sometimes erode our confidence and self-esteem, to a greater or lesser degree depending on how emotionally invested we were in that particular outcome.  This erosion might cause us to make different choices next time...sometimes to play it safer, not necessarily stretching ourselves and taking the kinds of chances we did before.

Sunlight through raindrop - courtesy of 123rf.com

Do you have a clear image in your mind and a clear feeling in your heart about what kind of person you want to be?  Now, ten years from now, twenty years from now...do you know the kind of life you want to be living, the kind of energy you want to be exuding, the kind of human being you want to become?

When you spend some time exploring this idea, it provides you with a map or a blueprint of sorts, one that makes it more clear what kinds of decisions, actions, relationships and steps forward you'll want to take as you move into your future.  Of course, this map or blueprint is always in pencil, because sometimes you have to make minor adjustments along the way, but it gives you a framework from and around which to build upon.  It gives you a sense of direction.

Some of the steps forward along the path to your desired future self might feel scary.  But in the words of Will Smith's character in the recently-released movie 'After Earth', remember this: 

"Danger is real.  Fear is a choice."

Danger is a very real possibility of suffering harm or danger, such as breaking your leg while skiing, going bankrupt starting up a business or having your heart broken by the person you love.

Fear, however, is a distressing or unpleasant emotion caused by the thought of someone or something causing you harm or danger, whether that threat is real or imagined.

At the point when you experience the fear, unless the danger is immediately and definitely imminent, it is only your mind's projection into the future.  

Is the danger possible?  Yes.  Is it probable?  Perhaps...or perhaps not.

Should you protect yourself from danger?  Of course.  

Take skiing lessons.  Wear the proper gear.  Take only intelligent and well-calculated risks on the slopes.  And if it lights you up, go ahead and ski...and enjoy the experience.

Do your viability research before starting your business.  Save up some money.  Create a fallback plan.  Seek sound advice.  If it still lights you up, do it...and enjoy the experience.

Fall in love.  Learn to communicate well.  Know and respect yourself authentically enough to be able to articulate and honour what you need and want in the relationship. And if that person lights up your soul, go ahead and love them with your whole entire heart...and enjoy the experience.

If you get hurt...be gentle with yourself.  Take some time to integrate your experience, reflect on what you learned and honour how that experience has helped you to become.

We human beings are sometimes far too hard on ourselves when we stumble and fall along the road to our future selves.   The more gently we can handle our own becoming, the gentler a place the world will be.  Not to say that you ought to keep everything always 'gentle' as in 'easy' or 'unchallenging', for that can lead to a rather bland life.  But challenge yourself, explore the edges where you can grow, and be kind to yourself as you evolve into the person you want to become living the life you desire.

Gently become.

One of my dearest mentors and teachers is JW Windland, founder of the Encounter World Religions Centre.  JW's work was inspired in large part by the works of comparative mythologist Joseph Campbell (The Hero With a Thousand Faces) and existential philosopher Martin Buber (I and Thou).  JW's email signature closes with a quote/thought that he attributes to Martin Buber: "Gently become."  Each time I see it, it makes me think...and those thoughts are what inspired today's post.

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©2023 by Kelly Wagner

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