So only five days into my commitment to write on this blog every weekday, I missed my first day yesterday. Argh! So I'm about to rationalize and make excuses for it.
The reality of life is there ARE excuses sometimes. There are only a given number of hours in each day, and sometimes we have to give and take with ourselves. I'm sitting here not actually liking the fact that I'm making excuses for myself, with the critical voice in my head shouting "if it's important enough, you MAKE time for it". True...to a certain extent. Sometimes 'schtuff comes up that we don't have control over, and it makes no sense to me to burn the midnight oil to complete a task that doesn't hurt anybody if left unfinished, and you are still committed to getting it done. If it really is that important. Hence me sitting here, blogging on my "day off", so make up for yesterday's missed entry.
I have a busy day today too, but this IS important to me and so rather than staying up late last night when I was already exhausted, to meet a strictly self-imposed deadline that I could make up this morning with no harm to anyone, I chose to give myself a break and go to bed. And set my alarm to do it this morning instead.
This might not sound like a big deal to anyone (or maybe it does), but one thing I'm working on this year is to cut myself some slack. I'm a person who has a tough time just "being"; I always have this pressing, nagging feeling that I need to be "doing" something. If I reflect on why this is, I'm sure it's something to do with my survival instinct, that kicked in really young and stayed on high alert for ....oh wait, I think it's still on high alert! But there seems to be something in me that repeatedly and continuously sets high expectations for myself, in terms of what I "must" and "should" be able to accomplish. I usually underestimate the time it will take for me to complete something too, which means I set myself up to forever feel like I'm running behind.
How about instead of what I "must" and "should" accomplish, fitting in some time to just be open to the flow of life, to be open to just being for a little while? A long time ago I heard the reminder phrase, "we're human beings, not human doings"...so how about it? Leaving myself a little slack, a little unscheduled time between "to-do's", would probably be a wise move that brings me more peace and contentment to my days. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting to become an unproductive slacker (I don't think I'd be capable of that for longer than a half day before getting ants in my pants). But to leave room for life to just happen, to give yourself a break when "'schtuff happens" that throws your plans off track and just let yourself relax about it, go with the flow, and get back on track when you can without sweating it would make life a lot more pleasant.
Because 'schtuff is going to happen now and again.
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