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4 Ways To Own Your Time

Ever heard these ones?: 

Clock (photo courtesy of 123rf.com)
I'm so busy, I don't have time to exercise. 

I think about starting my own business, but when would I fit that in?   

I'd love to be able to cook healthier meals, but life is so hectic, who has the time? 

Excuses.  We've both heard 'em.  Heck, I've even made 'em myself.  What they really are though are just lame reasons we come up with to explain why we 'can't' do the things we say we want to do.    

We busy ourselves with all the things we feel like we 'should' be doing, or even with things that we genuinely WANT to do.  But if your life is leaving you so crunched for time that you can barely manage a comatose hour in front of the TV at the end of the night, it's time to take back ownership of your time.  (And if you're like me, thinking 'who has TIME for a comatose hour in front of the TV at night?!', then you too might want to keep reading!) 

The excuses above all have one thing in common:  a victim mentality.  (Ouch!  Did I just call myself a victim?!  Sister, if the shoe fits…Wait, am I talking to myself now?).  But those statements are all expressed as though our schedule was something beyond our control.  If we - consciously or more often, unconsciously - structure a life that doesn't leave us time for the things we say are important to us, whose responsibility is that?   

IMPORTANT NOTE:  I said 'whose responsibility?', not 'whose fault?'.  Laying blame on someone or something else is a popular game many of us play to excuse ourself of the responsibility for taking charge of our own life.  'My job/my kids/my spouse/my pets demand so much of my time, I don't have time for those other things...' 

The reality is that everything is a choice, and YOU decide who and what and when you'll make time for in your life.  From a medium- to long-term perspective, we all have choices we make every single day that create and define the life we live in.  You may not be able to make the decision to create a different reality one day, and then wake up dwelling in that new reality the very next morning, but you can wake up and take a step every single day to move toward that new reality.  Consciously and purposefully. 

Here's how: 

1.  'Stoplight' it before you say 'yes' or 'no'.  So many of us spit out an automatic 'yes' when something is asked of us.  Instead, try "let me check my schedule/my other commitments/with my partner and get back to you".  Give yourself time to assess whether the thing requested is really something you want and are able to do, at the time requested.  If so, great: give yourself the green light.  If it's something you want to do but the timing just isn't right, 'yellow light' it and say "not now, but can we do it later?".  (One caveat on the 'yellow light' items: don't put things that are important to you off indefinitely, because eventually the invitations will stop coming.)  Finally, at risk of stating the obvious, if you don't want to do it, JUST SAY NO.  Red light it.  Period.   

2.  Block time for your 'yes's, and keep that time sacred.  Turn off the phones and email if they distract you; close the door.  Emergencies aside (real ones, that is), the time you allot for your priorities must be respected if you want your life to reflect what you say you want it to reflect, and if you want to live in integrity with yourself.   This goes for everything from friends and family to creative expression to business acumen to clean laundry.  If it matters to you, make it matter. 

3.  Make time for down time.  All this talk about scheduling and making time for things is not about jamming every moment of your calendar with to-do's.  Creating space and time off every day, every week, every year is equally important, to allow yourself time to recharge for the things you've deemed as priority.   

4.  Do it or Drop it.  But either way, decide.  That includes energetically: don't leave a reminder note about that 'someday' idea on your to-do list or on your bathroom mirror; you'll just be looking at it and leaking energy to it every day.  Instead, if it's really important, put a reminder on your calendar for three months from now (or six months; or a year; or whenever) and be realistic about when you will revisit the idea.  Until then, put it out of your mind.  Completely. 

The ability to say 'no' and to commit to your decisions about how you intend to use your time is critical if you want to own your life.  Plus, the more you fill your time with people and activities that you truly enjoy rather than things that drain you, the more your life will naturally refuel you.  Like the battery in your car, you actually have to run your energy using it for what it's intended for, in order to keep it fully charged. 

Own your time, own your life.

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©2023 by Kelly Wagner

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