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It's All A Matter Of Choice

A couple of days ago, a friend posted this drawing on Facebook in honour of May Day.  While May Day is about the struggle of workers, originating during a time of great discord between unions and employers, this particular drawing got me to thinking about another angle of the issue.  So naturally I wanted to share my thoughts with you, and I'd like to know what you think.

May Day: 8hrs work, 8hrs rest, 8hrs to 'do what you will'

The drawing depicts the demands of the workers in the late 1880’s, which I think is still representative of the balance that many people today strive for: 8 hours to work, 8 hours to sleep, and 8 hours to 'do what you will' (with many people today targeting even less working hours than that).

My first thought was that the 8/8/8 format for any given workday sounded like a good balanced lifestyle, a balance that I strive to create in my own world.  So I gave it the ‘ol internal nod of approval, and posted the drawing on Optimal Living's Facebook wall to share with my audience.

Then I immediately had a fleeting, less-than-optimal thought: “8 hours to ‘do what you will'???  As IF!  That other 8 hours (outside of my work and my bed) isn’t all ‘what I will’, meaning ‘whatever I feel like doing’!  I also have to fit in my mile-long list of all the ‘have to’ stuff in that time: mowing the lawn, packing lunches, cooking dinner, weeding the garden, grocery shopping, oil changes, obligations...”  And so on, went my pessimistic (some call it 'realistic') self.

Luckily, my Pollyanna self stepped in almost immediately to give me a reality check, and argue my own ‘as IF!’ perspective.  The fact of the matter is this: all of that stuff on my have-to list – every single item – is a choice.  The mowing, the packing, the cooking, the weeding, the shopping, the errands....  in every single case, I have a choice about when and how and whether I decide to go about doing things.  I choose to own a home that has a lawn that requires mowing; there are indeed other very rational grass-free housing and/or landscaping options available to me.  I choose to pack lunches in the interest of saving money and eating healthier than the costly, empty-calorie options that most take-out joints offer.  I choose to go to certain appointments (oil changes, medical appointments, etc) in the interest of preventative maintenance and of taking good care of all the wonderful things I’m blessed with in my life.

Shifting my perspective in this way gave me a whole new appreciation for the choices I’ve made and continue to make about how I want to structure my life. 

The reality is that we in the developed world truly live in the land of plenty; in the land of choice; in the land of the free.  Even in times when we don’t feel like we have plenty (the more you have, the more you think you need to have), or when we feel like we don’t have free choice (I couldn’t possibly do THAT...), the reality is that we DO have free choice.  Every moment of every day.

Let’s say you’re in a situation where you really don’t feel you have ‘enough’ (note: that amount is different for everyone), or you’re in a relationship where you feel trapped (perhaps due to financial constraints or family obligations), or something of that nature.  Let’s also say that the alternative options you come up with for changing your situation appear - from your perspective - equally as dire and unappealing as your current circumstances. 

The fact remains that you still have a choice in the matter.  Sometimes you might not like either of the choices in front of you, but you still have a choice.  And sometimes there are other options that we can’t see because we’re too close to the situation; we just need an objective voice to show us other alternatives. 

Sometimes the choices we make have a different impact in the short-term than the long-term, and those outcomes must also be considered when making the choices we are faced with.  Maybe your alternative choice looks terrible in the short term, but better in the long term (like taking a job that’s not really well-suited for you, but will enable you to build up the financial reserves to start that business you’ve dreamed of).  Or the flipside: your alternative choice looks good in the short term, but not in the long term (like ending a frustrating relationship instead of making the effort to be honest with yourself and with the other party about the issues at hand, and working through them with the goal of personal growth and the evolution of the relationship to a deeper and better level).   

Once you realize that everything really is a choice, you can let go of any frustration you were harbouring with the situation and embrace the choice you have decided to make.  NOT doing something is also a choice, so realize that you are making a choice, whether by action or inaction.  Recognize that you actually CAN choose a different option, weigh the pros and cons, and call in a third party (or a fourth, or a fifth) if you need some more unbiased and objective ideas. 

When you become aware that it’s always a matter of choice, then whatever you do or don’t do becomes a conscious and assertive rather than an unconscious and resigned decision, and it’s easier to move forward in your life from that space with purpose and peace.

Where in your life do you want to make more conscious decisions?

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©2023 by Kelly Wagner

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