top of page

The Art of Detachment

Buddha

One of the Four Noble Truths* in Buddhism is that “the cause of suffering is desire”, or “attachment”.  Being attached – to certain things, people, schedules, outcomes – is said to be the cause of much of our pain.  We get disappointed when someone lets us down, and frustrated when things don’t go the way we planned.  Life can be full of suffering…if we let it.  What kinds of things are you attached to? 

Now I’m not a Buddhist, but I do undertake various practices in the interest of personal growth and development.  Some of my practices are borrowed from the great wisdom traditions, and some from secular and scientific wisdom.  One of the things I’ve been doing lately on a weekly basis, is choosing a new quality that I want to make special effort to practice for that week.  One week it was ‘compassion’; another week, ‘purpose’; another, ‘gratitude’ (thanks, Oprah).  I put reminders on my calendar to keep my practice-of-the-week top of mind, and it helps me remember to see things from a positive perspective. 

Last week, my word-of-the-week was ‘detachment’, so I found myself thinking about the Buddhists and their endeavours to detach from worldly things.  ‘Detachment’ was particularly fitting because I was about to start my first cleanse.  I’ve never done one before, and the idea of ‘detaching’ from food for a while seemed like it might be helpful.  

You see I have a son, which means that even though I’m cleansing, I can’t just hide away from food and not see it, smell it, and salivate over it as I cook dinner for him every night.  Trust me: preparing juicy burgers on the BBQ or a fluffy batch of buttery mashed potatoes or some herbed roasted veggies as I’m sipping on my protein shake (the only thing I’ll have for dinner) is definitely good practice for being detached.  

garlic bread

If, for example, I were to allow my feelings of longing for toasted garlic bread with melted cheese to take over…if I allowed my senses of smell and taste to go into overdrive with the anticipation of the texture and flavours of the crunchy bread, the melted garlic butter and the warm, gooey cheese…if I considered only my physical senses, then the more immediate, short-term pleasure of eating that garlic bread could overrule my longer-term goal of detoxifying my body and giving it a fresh start (and hey, we are heading into bathing-suit season; let’s not totally ignore the cosmetic side of the equation).  

The trick – and the art – of detachment is finding the balance between rising above the potency of the immediate situation while your mind logically navigates through the challenge at hand, and at the same time, remaining human: still feeling your feelings and sensing with your senses.  This cleanse is helping to remind me that I am indeed capable of mastering my actions in the physical world, and to a certain degree rising above those physical needs and desires; but at the same time, it’s also reminding me of the deep appreciation I have for the delicious experience of being in the physical world, and enjoying all of the worldly sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and sensations it has to offer.  

So many of the things we do and have and experience on a daily basis, we take for granted…until we don’t have them anymore.  Only one week into my 30-day cleanse, I’ve already realized what a great appreciation I have for food (glorious food!), which is something I had kind of forgotten about, and which I definitely took for granted before my food supply became limited.  

I’m also well aware that my current dietary choices are entirely self-imposed; I have the option to dive into my well-stocked fridge and cupboards at any time.  A bounty of food awaits me there, or at any local grocery store.  Yet there are millions – hundreds of millions, in fact – of other people in the world who don’t have that same luxury**.  I’ve also developed a new level of empathy for them.

It’s amazing what realizations you can have, simply by focusing on one word and directing your attention to one particular aspect of your life, for even a short while. 

‘Detachment’ has given me some food for thought this week.  Which word might give  you food for thought? 

*if you’re curious about Buddhism, here’s a good place to learn some basics

**if you’d like to help someone who doesn’t have enough food or water, here’s a good place.  Even a one-time contribution makes a difference.

  • Youtube
  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • X/Twitter
  • LinkedIn
IP_Certified_Trainer_logo_bw.png

©2023 by Kelly Wagner

bottom of page