This post is the second in my ten-week ‘Summer Music Series': a collection of articles inspired by some of the songs and music lyrics that inspire me and make me think... Sign up here to make sure you don’t miss any instalments....it's free, soget in on the fun! :)
Have you ever bit your tongue and held back from saying what was really on your mind?
Ever stayed silent just to keep the peace, certain that being honest would only rock the boat in a decidedly unenjoyable way?
Ever been unsure of exactly how to articulate the swirl of emotions in your heart?
Yeah, me too.
We've all had moments of refraining from saying what's truly on our minds - and in our hearts - for countless different reasons. And it's certainly true that there's 'a time and a place' for everything, and sometimes, in that moment, it really is NOT the time or place to say what you need to say.
But as John Mayer reminds us in his song, Say, it IS important to find (or make) the time to do exactly that...because the longer we go on suppressing the truth that's burning inside of us, the more we become out of integrity with ourselves and with those around us.
Ironically, the more we try to deny what we're thinking or how we're feeling inside, the more the truth seeks to find a way to reveal itself, whether it be through our demeanour, our body language, or just the overall presence and attitude with which we 'show up' in life.
The results of not 'saying what you need to say', even - or rather, especially - when it's yourself you haven't admitted your truth to (nevermind to anyone else!) can show up in a bunch of different ways:
- If you're not happy and feeling purposeful in your work, but you keep on doing it anyway, you'll bring less enthusiasm than you're capable of to your everyday tasks, which ends up not only draining you, but sometimes resulting in less-than-stellar performance
- If you're unsettled or unsatisfied in a personal relationship, but you don't articulate and seek to resolve the issues, you'll close off energetically from that person in an array of different ways, ultimately creating even further barriers to connecting with them
- If the lifestyle you've created for yourself doesn't actually fuel you and bring you joy - and you allow yourself to stay stuck in it, thinking you have to uphold the 'status quo' - you'll begin to detach from your life, which keeps you from fully thriving and bringing your best self to those around you
- If the belief system you grew up with no longer resonates, and you don't bother to question and seek answers that align with your soul, you essentially put your spirit on autopilot, perhaps maintaining practices that no longer have meaning or worse, tormenting yourself trying to align your words and actions with 'truths' that you know are no longer true for you
These are things I've learned from personal experience.
I've been in each of those situations in the past, and some are situations that I still struggle with in different ways. That's why, even though I continue to work very diligently at 'being the change I wish to see' in the world, the idea that I might be seen or portrayed as 'someone who has it all figured out' makes me hugely uncomfortable. Because I sure as heck don't.
I'm much more in alignment now than I used to be with doing work that feels purposeful to me for example, but to be fully transparent, here's a personal disclosure: at the time of this writing, Dreamsmith still isn't 100% self-sustaining financially. I've continued to take on other contract work to keep things afloat, and I recognize that there are things that I've done (and not done) that have contributed to my current reality.
As John Mayer croons in Say, my truth is that for much of the time since launching Dreamsmith, I've felt like I've been 'walking like a one-man army, fighting with the shadows in my head', trying to figure out all the things I'm still trying to figure out. A lot of the subjects I write about here are things that I still need to learn better for myself.
There. The truth is out. I've said what I need to say.
Gawd, that feels good.
Yet as much as I struggle sometimes with 'figuring it all out', I feel compelled to continue...and the upside is that my desire for the life that I want to create for myself has also served as the fuel for everything I've created for others here at Dreamsmith. As I've strived to carve my own path and work through my own challenges semi-publicly through this blog, it's turned into and served as a vehicle for helping you to do the same.
When I get comments or emails from you, sharing that something we discussed (or that I've written here, or that you heard me speak about) resonates with you and has brought you some clarity, I feel a very deep and peaceful sense of gratitude and alignment. Of satisfaction and purpose. It's in those times too that I think, "Gawd, that feels good."
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Is there something that you need to say in your life? Some truth that you need to admit to yourself or to someone else?
Might the struggle to carve your own path, perhaps a path less-traveled, serve as an inspiration for others around you to do the same?
Might there already be something you've done that's served as an inspiration and set an example for someone else?
Sometimes it's just as scary - if not more so - to be honest with yourself as it is to be honest with other people, but my hope for you is that you'll continue to seek out and take advantage of the resources out there that can help you to love yourself enough to be true to yourself, even when it's difficult to do.
Because as Abraham Lincoln said: "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."
What I've learned is that the truth eventually comes out - whether explicitly or implicitly, intentionally or unintentionally - and yet the worst foolery of all is when you try to fool yourself. Trying to talk yourself into thinking and feeling things that aren't truly aligned with your heart and your spirit is a surefire recipe for flatlined, survival-based living, as opposed to real living, loving and thriving in this life.
Are there areas of your life where you're fooling yourself, whether intentionally or not?
If so, I hope that you'll find a way to love yourself enough to say what you need to say - especially to yourself - because as the good Mr. Mayer reminds us, 'it's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again".
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Stay tuned for more on the subject of saying what you need to say in next wk's post: native wisdom from a new song by indie artist Nahko & Medicine for the People. Don't miss it: sign up here to have it delivered directly to your inbox.